People may think that they can't live with their hurts, with the loss and the sadness, that little voice that sometimes creeps up in the back of your mind to remind you of all the negative things. But it's still a part of us, what makes us who we are. I know I've talked about my feelings on loss, about my somewhat unhealthy coping mechanism, but I will tell you, to feel nothing is so much worse.
I'm not sure that the darkness I saw was the same sort of Darkness that I witnessed try to obliterate everything around us, but in that moment, it took everything. All those emotions, even the bad ones, the sadness, the fear- suddenly they were all just -gone-. I won't lie, it was freeing in its own way. Not caring about anything? About all the things that had been bothering you, about the people who forgot, or the things that should be done? It's a huge weight off your shoulders. But then there's nothing left on the other side of that, and it is oh so very cold.
That's not who I am. If that's a hint of 7, I don't want to be him.
I know I've been avoiding talking about it. For me it feels like there's nothing to talk about. We all got pulled into something crazy, and thankfully we were able to break free of it. Things are back to normal now, or at least that's what I'd like to say. It's strange when you have an extra set of memories knocking around in your head. I remember things about pre-Golden Age culture that I have no business knowing. Makes me wonder what all everyone else is dealing with. Maybe I'm simplifying too much, but I'll just be happy that no one looks at me crosseyed. In the meantime, the bar's getting popular. Wasn't really my intention at least in reason, but if it helps people out a little, well, I'm fine with that.
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Date: 2021-09-03 03:31 am (UTC)I'm not sure that the darkness I saw was the same sort of Darkness that I witnessed try to obliterate everything around us, but in that moment, it took everything. All those emotions, even the bad ones, the sadness, the fear- suddenly they were all just -gone-. I won't lie, it was freeing in its own way. Not caring about anything? About all the things that had been bothering you, about the people who forgot, or the things that should be done? It's a huge weight off your shoulders. But then there's nothing left on the other side of that, and it is oh so very cold.
That's not who I am. If that's a hint of 7, I don't want to be him.
I know I've been avoiding talking about it. For me it feels like there's nothing to talk about. We all got pulled into something crazy, and thankfully we were able to break free of it. Things are back to normal now, or at least that's what I'd like to say. It's strange when you have an extra set of memories knocking around in your head. I remember things about pre-Golden Age culture that I have no business knowing. Makes me wonder what all everyone else is dealing with. Maybe I'm simplifying too much, but I'll just be happy that no one looks at me crosseyed. In the meantime, the bar's getting popular. Wasn't really my intention at least in reason, but if it helps people out a little, well, I'm fine with that.